Right, let’s do this

I am struggling with my writing this week since finishing the first draft of my book…all 123,000 words of it! It has been my baby for the past year and a half, which has incidentally been the biggest 1.5 years of change in my life. It has been incredible and at the moment I am truly missing writing my book. I am feeling nervous as I stand on the edge of the abyss preparing to find a publisher. The usual human fears are popping up about whether anyone will want to read it, if it is worthless, if it is boring blah blah and yet I know that none of things those are true.

It is a flipping brilliant book, it really is, and I created it in the hope it would inspire people. I wanted my book to be a piece of work that someone would pick up during a difficult time in their life, sit down with a cup of tea and read from cover to cover. I wanted that person to read it and say to themselves by the end: if she did it then so can I. That book…she is funny, hilarious at times, heart warming, emotional, heart breaking, ridiculous, unique and just brilliant. Really, a great read. I say that not as the author (that would be terrifically arrogant of me) but as the person that experienced the story happening to themselves and so was the hands through which it was written. I am merely the storyteller and I can say the book needs to be out there and shared. It really, really does and I do not yet have the contacts to make that happen….yet…in the way I would like to do so.
At the moment I am thinking about how to reach the most people possible so that nifty little book can get to work inspiring others. I need to swallow my fear and find the courage to approach agents and publishing houses. Honestly, it scares the inspiration out of me. It does not feel like an easy task right now and I am faltering.

In the spirit of being courageous and making a new change in my life I decided to share the first two chapters. So here they are, warts and all at this link.

Welcome to the first edit of the first two chapters of my book. (Deep breath on my part).

Would you read it? Let’s see if I reach anyone that might just be willing to help or inspire me to give this book a life.

On a different note I also realised it is high time I brought this blog of mine back up to speed. It has taken a back seat lately, I have lost my blog mojo and I really want to let it blossom into the great site it has the potential to be. I have been rooting around to find my inspiration to get going and found a Blog Challenge to join. Here are the basics:

I’m super excited to have joined the free Start-A-Blog Challenge with Scott Dinsmore from Live Your Legend. It comes with a free 7-day course to help build a successful writing habit and a private community of over 1,500 writers, and I’d love any of you friends to join me! You can access the free course and join the challenge here: http://liveyourlegend.net/start-a-blog-challenge-2015/

Over the next seven days I have a number of blog tasks to complete relating to the course, so watch this space. The first question I am prompted to answer is

What really makes you angry about the world?

Quite simply it is when people stop trying. We all have setbacks, failures, shortcomings and fears. ALL OF US. But guess what, here is the great bit, we can all try to overcome them. Every single one of us has the tools, talents, gifts and ability to make a change in our lives for the better every single day – be it large or small. We can either give up or get up and create something good in the day and inspire ourselves (and others in the process) to bring positivity into the world. Few things make me angry and frustrated but one of them is when people give up trying. In fact I’d go so far as to underneath the anger is sadness. It makes me incredibly sad when people no longer feel able to try.

Life is a gift and it should be lived to its fullest by every single one of us, every single day. Onwards team, go try!

Inspire Me

Cristian Mihai – October

Life Paths for Better Endings – Your archetype allies

The Muscleheaded Blog – Dr Seuss Says

Princess of the Light – Wordplay

You Can’t Hide the Spark – The good news about crying

Never (Ever) Give Up

Today has been awesome, so full of bright sunshine – and that is just from the people out there that have connected with me! What a perfect day to smile! You have all inspired me so much with your views and comments on here.

This post goes out to all the Free Rangers that read my story on the Friday Love Letter, the Free Rangers that I know are busy flapping their wings towards their dreams of freedom. Each and every one of you is incredible and I am so excited for you…who knows where today’s dream will take you tomorrow.

All I have ever wanted to do is inspire people to achieve their dreams and help them along the way with words of encouragement and a supportive arm around the shoulders that says ‘you can do this’. To know that I have inspired one or two of you to just go for it in life is simply wonderful. Thank you for making my day so special and for inspiring me to never (ever) give up.

And for those of you that don’t know about Free Range Humans, you really need to check this tribe out. They are incredible people. Go find them, join us and be inspired…

Free Range Humans

I think today is also the perfect day to share with you that, you know what, I know how it feels to be on the journey of going free range and I know how utterly terrifying it can be to make the decision to stand up and say

 ‘Hey, this isn’t working for me. I want to change my life and I’m going to do this’

 It is terrifying reaching that moment and I remember so many sleepless nights as I wondered if I could actually admit that let alone do something about it. The pressure and expectation placed upon all of us by society is huge and I couldn’t begin to imagine standing up to that and saying

‘Actually, I believe in another way. I’m sorry but I don’t buy into this for me’

That moment for me came this time last year at a family reunion – which was also going to be my wedding day as it happened. As you know from my previous posts and the Friday Love Letter, the groom had departed prior to then and rather than be sad we turned it into a family reunion day. My brother and family flew over from Australia especially to be there as a surprise. I remember standing in the kitchen thanking everyone for their support after my groom had left me and toasting to a brighter future. I then broke down in tears and confessed all…that I couldn’t go on like this, all I wanted to do was follow my dreams of working with sharks and being creative. I felt ashamed that I had such a dream, ashamed that I was admitting it and terrified that my family would reject me. This feeling had been within me for years and I embarrassed yet felt free to be admitting it – even if it did mean I had tears in my pink champagne damn it.

I couldn’t believe it when my family turned to me one by one and, with a smile in their eyes, said ‘We always knew you were a free spirit and wondered why you hadn’t done that many years ago’.

And so my journey began

With my sisters by my side the following day, I wrote down exactly what it was I wanted to do. They did the same and it was a powerful moment as we committed to realising our dreams. I signed and dated it and promised myself that a year later I would be making it happen. Don’t for a minute think I actually believed I could make it happen though. I was convinced it was impossible but by writing it down I had at least made my dream real on paper. Not once did I think a year later that dream would have come true.

You see I am not naturally confident in my abilities; I have to work on my confidence and anxieties daily as look in the mirror and dislike the reflection I see. I know how it feels to sit down in tears on the edge of my bed (many many times) and feel my heart break into pieces as I realise I am just not good enough to achieve my dreams. That there is no value in who I am, no value in what I want to do and I will never make a change and fly free. But the thing I have learnt lately is this…Those feelings, those fears are NOT real. They are tricks of the mind, tricks of our primitive emotional brain yet they consume and break all of us at some point. They are the moments that have made me give up in the past and convince myself that I should just do what everyone else does and throw my dreams away. I am sure you have had those moments too, we all do. So if you take one thing from me, please take this.

 Your fears are NOT real. They are NOT real. They make no sense, serve no purpose and will NEVER help you. Do not listen to them and NEVER GIVE UP

If you are reading this as someone about to make the decision to fly or your confidence and courage are wavering, remember we all have days like that. It is okay to feel that way, just don’t listen too closely to the fears and don’t believe the voice that tells you to give up.

NEVER (EVER) GIVE UP

Instead, go find someone inspiring to lift your spirits or maybe even remember my little story. I am not superhuman, I don’t have a long list of talents and skills. I am just ME but finally I am realising that every ME and, of course, every YOU has gifts and heart to share with this world. If you just keep on dreaming big, keep on believing in yourself you CAN do it.

I know you can do it because I am doing it right now and if I can make it happen then you definitely can too.

May you all keep chasing your dreams, keep flapping those wings and fly free. And make sure you tell me how you get on as you leap to your freedom xx