I lost my peace this past week and no matter where I looked I couldn’t seem to find it. I have hunted high and low for this peace; under the bed, in the kitchen cupboards, behind the door, in the bottom of a packet of biscuits and in my shoe. It was nowhere to be seen and left me feeling lost and uninspired. And then I looked in the mirror and realised that actually I hadn’t lost my peace. It has been there all along; as the sparkle in my eyes, the smile on my face and that feeling of knowing deep in my heart. I had just been looking in the wrong places and forgotten to look within me.
I have been so preoccupied with looking towards others and outside of me to validate who I am this past week that I had stumbled onto a path of my own fears and self-judgement. It hasn’t been pretty and I have watched my inspiration and passion take a back seat on the comfy sofa whilst I’ve been stirring a pot of negativity in my mind and working my way through the chocolate. I was greeted by two old friends of mine: fear and judgement.
Fear and judgement
Two perfect ways to ruin your day, squash your dreams and give up
They are free for all, widely available within ourselves and spread by our words and actions towards others. We all experience them in our lives and they are difficult to eliminate because we nurture and share them so carelessly. Often without even realising what we are doing.
It makes me sad to think I have wasted precious time judging myself this past week for making two tiny mistakes and have flicked on the fear switch that says in its childlike tone ‘I can’t do this, I’m just not good enough’. I thought I had firmly kicked that in the backside a while ago but it would seem fear is persistent and rears its ugly head when you least expect it. It turns your rational mind upside down, your brain inside out and is a ridiculous waste of time and space. And that is just what I have done to myself. It is a scary thought that I created that all by myself without so much as any judgement from elsewhere. Try as I might I have not been able to find anyone else that is judging me in the way I do. And believe me I tried! There appears to be no-one else to blame but me. Damn.
But here is the good part. If I can create the fear and judgement within me then I can also create its opposite.
I can sweep away those negative patterns within my mind and bring in the good, the passion and joie de vivre once again. All I need to do is put some effort in with my mind and let the good thoughts roll. So what are the opposites of fear and judgement?
Faith, Hope & Love (and a big piece of cake)
It was a conversation with a friend of mine that reminded me of these three cornerstones to bringing about peace internally. His grasp on the importance of these left me feeling somewhat humbled and I paused in my feverish stirring of the fear pot to take note. Everyone has faith in some form; be it religious, spiritiual or something entirely different. He reminded me that by cultivating Faith and sowing seeds of Hope every day, you realise that actually everything will be okay. Life is as it is meant to be right now and even when it is dark you can keep focusing on your Faith and Hope. You can create your own sunshine and smile right now at the beauty in your life.
And then there is Love
Love is the absolute opposite of fear and judgement in all its forms. It is the medicine we all need, it is free to give and receive and feels divine. We all need to experience and share more Love; for the sake of ourselves and for the world around us. It can only bring good into our souls and lifts us every moment it is shared.
Because with Love comes Peace
So whilst I can still feel fear and judgement niggling inside me I am going to turn my attention away and start cultivating more Faith, Hope & Love today and every day. I am going to head out into the sunshine and let the good thoughts roll. And yes I may also indulge in a big piece of cake.
May you all have a wonderful week and find reasons to keep on smiling today. Go and tell someone you love them, spread some happiness and hope and watch the peace within you grow.